Thursday, March 29, 2012

Lab Rats

Today I am (again) talking about a lab rat named Alfred. He lives in a cage with another lab rat named Josephine.

Alfred: Josephine?
Josephine: Yes Alfred?
Alfred: Not trying to read you or anything but you look sickening today. Naomi-Cambell-realness girl.
Josephine: I’M FROM CHI-CA-GO! pause BITCH! snaps finger in a Z formation
Alfred: Josephine?
Josephine: Yes Alfred?
Alfred: Learn to take a compliment.

Josephine starts gnawing at her leg, while Alfred stares at a random spot in the distance.

Josephine: Name your top three of favourite mice
Alfred: Well, there’s Mickey of course, and The Brain…and then there’s that one with the human ear on his back.
Josephine: Oh yeah, he’s amazing. But don’t forget Ren.
Alfred: I’m pretty sure he’s a chihuahua.
Josephine: Uh. Well, that does explain a few things.
Alfred: That one mouse from Ratatouille…
Josephine: Gay.
Alfred: So gay.
Josephine: We sure are lucky our cage is close to the TV and that those scientist types love watching cartoons.
Alfred: What are they researching anyway?
Josephine: Once a week they measure my tail.
Alfred: They’ve never measured my tail.
Josephine: Well… awkward silence I wouldn’t worry about that, really, who cares right?

Suddenly, a third rat with a freakishly long tail is placed in their cage. He stares coldly at Alfred and Josephine. For no apparent reason.

Alfred: Erm, you know him?
Josephine: Who?
Alfred: This guy. He’s right there. I’m pretty sure he can hear me.
Josephine: pretends not to see the other rat So, anyway, all you need basically is a car battery and some candles, and then you take...
Alfred: Josephine, stop. What’s going on here?
Josephine: You’re being replaced.
Alfred: scared What?
Josephine: Yeah, he’s gonna snap your neck like a twig.

Fade out.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Another revolution? Yeah sure, I guess...

Most of history was just folks passing time, waiting for the internet to be invented.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

The Easy Life

Is it an attainable goal? Should it even be a goal? I think I could be happy with a structured life; the same job, the same man, the same holiday each year. Double-dating, dinner parties, pets, it all seem wonderfully comfortable. Then there’s the other side, the feeling of loss of possibilities. The restriction somehow. But also, that uncontrollable fear of fucking it up. Hard. When we build something, it can also be torn down and more often than not we (subconsciously) do the tearing down ourselves. Is it out of selfishness? It seems most people are able to let go of their individual ambition and live simply smothered under drudgery. But what if I’m an Epsilon wishing to be an Alpha? I know a guy (don’t we all) who has the luxury to do what he loves doing, doesn’t have to worry about money, he can be completely free to do whatever he wants and he’s still complaining about how life could be better. It’s something completely natural, we will always want something else than what we have. In that regard, you know it will never change. Why not chose drudgery; some recreational drugs, regular sex, poker night with the guys and just accept the fact that you cannot live your own life (as you wanted it) to the end. Very few people can. Despite all those inspirational slogans slapping us in the face wherever we look, we’d mostly just rather sit back with a beer then go out to chase our dreams. With all the daily crap we have to deal with, who has energy for that? Life is an uncomfortable cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. Some people are just standing closer to the bar than others.