Part Sephenn

Today I am talking about a lab rat named Alfred. He lives in a cage with another lab rat named Josephine.

Alfred: Josephine?
Josephine: Yes Alfred?
Alfred: Do you often worry about black holes?
Josephine: Not often no, at least not daily. Why?
Alfred: Do you think it’s likely that our sun will transform in a red giant, subsequently into a white dwarf, fade out into a black dwarf, then become a neutron star, and thus ultimately becoming a black hole, and all this in our lifetime?
Josephine: I don’t want to sound like a doomsday prophet, but it could happen Alfred.
Alfred: I was afraid of that.

Alfred discretely makes a little poo, while Josephine respectfully looks the other way.

Josephine: Did you see last week’s issue of Vogue?
Alfred: I had the ear transplant, remember?
Josephine: How did that go?
Alfred: What?
Josephine: How-did-that-go?
Alfred: Can’t remember.
Josephine: Weren’t you in rehab?
Alfred: Rehab is for quitters. I zig when they zag.
Josephine: I still have these psychotic episodes, but running the wheel really helps me focus.
Alfred: Are you taking meds for that?
Josephine: Sure, I get drugged up every Thursday at nine.
Alfred: I get a shot every Monday, but it’s a real pain in the tail.
Josephine: I’m telling you, run the wheel Alfred. Run the wheel, uk.

Suddenly, Josephine gives birth to twenty baby rats. For no apparent reason.

Alfred: That was unexpected.
Josephine: I’d say! Anyway, I talked to Alice the other day and she says that ever since she’s sharing her cage with Rudolph she’s feeling really insecure about her personal hygiene rituals. I told her Rudolph probably swings the wrong way, so she shouldn’t worry about –wait- I think I’m sitting on one of the younguns, so she shouldn’t worry about, what was I saying again?
Alfred: Rudolph’s gay?
Josephine: He is?
Alfred: You said you told Alice Rudolph’s gay.
Josephine: My gawd, this is so David Lynch directs a Friends episode. Don’t you think Alfred?
Alfred: What?
Josephine: Oh, never mind.

Fade out. So now we leave Alfred and Josephine because my shift ended, and I still have to go to the gym, do my laundry and yell at my cat. Goodnight. If you see a bedbug, tell him to return my calls. The prick never called me back.