Relax

Ladies and Gentlemen,

this is your Reality crew speaking: as foretold by the Mayan calendar, the Universe is one year away from it’s final destination, where this reality will terminate.

Please prepare to vacate the Universe. Return all matter to it’s pre-atomic state and place any left over dark matter into the black holes provided. If you require any of your checkout procedure to be recorded as string theory equations, then please collect and retain any dimensions you require beyond the third. Any remaining Time can be claimed back as Space if you correctly fill in your time return forms. If you’ve not yet been issued with a time return form, then this is an illusion caused by your limited dimensionality. Relax, and an authorized time collection agent will have been visiting you.

On behalf of our parent company, The Mayan Gods, we hope you enjoyed your stay in this reality and would choose to participate in an inexplicable and random expression of spontaneously generated space-time in what, for want of a better term, we shall call ‘the future’.