Part Fore

I don’t know why I should write this, but the thought occurred to me and I can at least give it a try. Try not to read it as an ode to past lovers, but more as a reflection on people that once held me in their arms and promised to protect me. How I reacted to their love is, of course, not always what they expected. I’m not trying to make a full list here, just who pops in my head.

I’ll start with you Annamati. You were my first great love. You gave me the fever from the moment I first saw you in your white gown. I took us more than a year to confess our love to each other, but the three years that followed were a riot. You shaped me into the man I am today, you made all the foundations, and I cannot thank you enough for that.

Morgana, I’m sorry I was so messed up when we were together. I never talked about the chaotic whirls in my mind, you had to try to analyse it through my poetry, and that must have sucked for you. Thanks for believing in me still, too bad we didn’t graduate together. I can’t help but wonder if we would still be friends if we had never been an item. I would have liked that.

And how can I describe what you mean to me, Sam? You have so many names and faces to me, and I absolutely unconditionally love everyone of them. You will always be my other half, no matter how much people hate us for that. No matter how destructive it may be.You’re the bride I will never have. You deserve every inch of happiness your man is giving you, and you’d better make the godfather of your firstborn.

Jazz, I remember referring to you as my kitten. You were my great escape. The big strong arms I needed to hide into at that time. I know you needed more from me, and I couldn’t help you. But if I say 174, you’ll know what to think of.

Mr. Alain Proviste, you’re one crazy cat. I wouldn’t dream of letting you know what I think.

You are going to loathe me soon, Mr. Hollingworth, but I hope you’ll still have some happy memories from our time together. We rode on camels in the Sahara together for crying out loud, so smile when you think of me! I know I do when I think of you.

Thunder, I think we already played our cards and that everything has been put on the table. What’s done is done and I propose we don’t waste any more energy on it. You’re a true lost soul, and that’s why we were drawn to each other, no matter the distance. I’ll visit you soon and we’ll raise our glasses to each other.

What happened between us, Doran, can be easily dismissed as a very brief intermezzo of no great significance. I dare not beg to differ. However, I feel inclined to include you in this, you made me dream again after a long time of banality. Thank you my friend, I’ll see you more often now, I’m sure of it.

Hey, I’m looking in your direction Mr. Neverland. You’ve swept me off my feet. No matter in which language we talk to each other, we understand each other clearly. I’ll see you tonight. And many more nights to come.